Humor from the Mother Land

Barbie Girl?

While trying to construct a solenoid for a physical science demonstration in our dilapidated science lab (which is really a store room) I faintly hear “Come on Barbie let’s go party, uh-uh-uh-yeah…” coming from the radio which Alfred (a member of support the support staff) was listening to. I think to myself, “No way. No possible way. Is that really Aqua’s ‘Barbie Girl’ on the radio?” I drop everything and move into the other room to get a better listen. Yep, turns out ‘Barbie Girl’ was actually playing on a Malawian radio station. I couldn’t help but smile and laugh on the inside, while being taken back to my childhood in Idaho Falls when I used to listen to this ridiculous song on Z103. I soaked it in for a few moments then went back to work on my solenoid. About twenty seconds later Alfred (a full grown Malawian man) walked in with ‘Barbie Girl’ playing and without hesitation audibly joined in with the chorus “Uh-uh-uh-yeah” with a perfect female tone (being as it’s Barbie’s responsibility to sing the chorus). At this point I HAD to laugh out loud. How could you not? I mean, a Malawian dude is singing in a female voice to a song that I used to request on the radio in the mid-90s. He noticed my laughing (alone in the lab) and asked what was so funny. I tried to explain the situation to him but it must have been lost in translation because he didn’t find it funny.


In-Service Training

Not only do I have to attend In-Service Trainings for the Peace Corps, but we also have them at my C.D.S.S. So we started the training for the science department of Mphande C.D.S.S. (which consisted of 4 teachers chatting in a room) with computer training. We then moved on to the top of ‘filling out school reports’. The goal was to universalize how the department graded each student on a report card. This was the conversation that followed:

Teacher 1: “This [universalization of grading] is necessary because one student scored the number one position in the class, but he still failed. How is that possible?”

Teacher 2: “Well, as you know, community day secondary schools are the lowest level of government schools we have, so most the students are below average. One can still be the number one in the class if he has the best failing grade, but he will still fail.”

Teacher 1: “There is something wrong with that. If you have the highest grade in the class you should pass.”

Teacher 2: “My friend, among blind men, a one-eyed man is king.”

Problem solved.

Happy Birthday

I have a form 4 student named Zachariah living with me until he writes his national exams this August. His English is good, but he still has basic questions about conversational English daily. Anyhow, his birthday was coming up so I told him we were going to have an American birthday celebration as best we could here in Malawi for him. When the day came, we had sweets (no cake…bummer) and presents, the whole nine yards. As the night was rolling to an end Zachariah yelled from the other room, “is it ok for me to say ‘happy birthday to me’?” I laughed to myself and replied with, “you bet!”


Ipod

When I lived at my old house in the boma there was a student that would come by almost daily to “chat”. This consisted of us sitting in silence for the majority of the time, with a few questions scattered amongst the silence. I quickly turned these “chats” into sessions where we listened to music on my Ipod. He seemed quite interested in my Ipod, but I made it clear, or so I thought, that I wasn’t going to be giving it away. Since I have moved he has stopped coming by because of the long walk from my house to his. One evening he came (after dark) and claimed that he lost his phone in the bushes and needed me to “flash” (call the person and let it ring only once then hang up. The goal is to show the other person that you want them to call you) his phone so he could find it. I apparently wasn’t thinking and flashed his phone. He quickly found it and left. Now, he has is phone and he has MY phone number in it too. Hot damn if I don’t get a text message every now and again from him. The two texts I have received to date are as follows with a brief analysis of each:

Text One
“I have written this text to ask how your doing, since it have been along time we met. And I have important issue about your ipod (the none video one).”

Analysis: How thoughtful to send me a text asking how I was doing. At first I was wondering how this person was and how they got my number. Then it all hit me. Hmmmm an “important” issue about my ipod? Did I lose it at some point and he found it? No, that can’t be because I’m listening to it now. Weird, I wonder what this “important issue” my entail.

Text Two (six days later)
“How your doing sir. I have written this for requesting, that is to give me your ipod (small one I will be happy if you be conserned with my request.”

Analysis: I’m doing well and how are you? A request? AHA! Here comes that “important issue” he wanted to talk with me about! He wants me to give him my Ipod? Sure, you know, just because you “requested” via text message, I think I’ll just hand it over. You want my bike too? Haha Oh boy.